I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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