I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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