Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This baby is an asshole
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
