I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's blow job season.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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