He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
