I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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