I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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