That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
