is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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