dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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