She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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