So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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