He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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