the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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