it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
