Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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