My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
