Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
