There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I fill condoms, not promises.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
