My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You smell like stripper and shame
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
