She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sext me about skeletons
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
