If that was your dad, he is hot
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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