I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
