It's Friday. Sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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