Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize