Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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