Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you win again, gameday.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize