Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize