tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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