May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My vagina just clenched in fear
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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