This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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