I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
