You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just found a bag of teeth...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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