we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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