i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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