She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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