I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
