She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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