I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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