Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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