you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
