Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Randomize