i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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