We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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