she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
