how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
