at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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