Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
