so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
