The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my poor anus
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
