I'm jealous of your bromance
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
