Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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