I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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