Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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