i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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