Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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