I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He shit in the fireplace
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
