I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
farters have to be the big spoon...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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