I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
