I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
