She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
