My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize